February Goal Type Things 2017

• set up and start bullet journaling 
• I have the most wonderful undated monthly/weekly/daily planner from Target that I discovered was a one time collaboration and it sent me spiraling into the depths of the internet to find a new one. I'm super duper not interested in paying more than $20 (even that's more than I'd want to pay...) for something I will scribble on, spill coffee on and that potentially has features I do not need, care about or plan to use. Per the recommendation of my sweet friend Marie, I finally Googled some bullet journaling tutorials and that is TOTALLY how I already run my work flow/schedule-- except I was using a pre-made undated planner. Amazing. I'm excited to try it, and am looking forward to having a central location for lists too. I have a running tab of lists in my phone and legal pads about and the idea of having them all in one place gets me so excited. I found a cheap-ish one on Amazon that will arrive tomorrow and now I just need a good black pen. Hit me with your favorites. 
• start teaching round 2 of Financial Peace University
• It's starting February 19th! We've partnered with Elevation Raleigh to offer this course AGAIN with free childcare, coffee and no rush hour traffic. We will meet at Millbrook High School on Sundays during the 9:30 worship experience. The course runs for 9 weeks and you are free to come check it out without investing in the kit-- it WILL change your life! Register here: https://fpu.com/1036068
• go to Ikea (FINALLY YOU GUYS) 
• I get paid on February 10th and we have quite an Ikea list. Several house projects are in the works and we are borrowing a mini-van and plan to fill 'er up! Yippee! 
• assemble king bed + move queen bed to the Big Boy Room + move crib into the Baby Girl Room! 
• We're playing musical beds! We're getting a memory foam king bed (adulting, so much adulting) and our queen mattress is going in Lincoln's room and his crib (now toddler bed) is getting moved into baby girl's room. 
• make a nesting to-do list and clean out, organize and start preparations for Baby Girl's Room!
• We've already gone through the clothes, downsized tremendously and have a ton of NB through 3mo stuff washed and ready, just need to get it in the room, put it all away and hang stuff on the walls. Post coming soon with inspiration for her room. EEEEEEP. 
• complete Foto February Challenge
• I came up with this photo challenge for the month just for funsies. I've only done one so far, and it's really fun! And really challenging to let go of the pretty image ideal... jump in! There are no rules! 
• finish reading Respect Dare
• This book has been pivotal in this season of transition. We're not quite newlyweds, we're preparing to transition to two kids, we've been in our house for five years.. it's an interesting place to be and this book has provided such a shift in perspective for me. It is cheesy at times and the lil' feminist in me sometimes screams and wants to stop reading it, but I'm finding it important that I challenge my thinking on all front and see things from other perspectives.  I'm slated to finish it in the next two weeks (I'm a bit behind) and there are already quite a few "dares" that I haven't really done full out and I'd like to do again. Perhaps this fall will be a good time to do that, I think! Regardless, I totally recommend it if you're looking for some guidance in approaching marriage biblically. Men speak respect, women speak love and it's a really great combination of these ideas with some practical tips, "dares" and reflections. A great "quiet time" piece and has sparked some wonderful conversations between Marshall and I. Highly recommend! 
• maintain existing + continue developing good habits
• I've upgraded my water bottle to a 1L and am drinking 2-3 liters a day. Want to keep that up! 
• I've been getting up early to work in the mornings and it has been a game changer for my stress level! Finding such peace and joy working in the wee hours of 5 and 6am. I don't even know who I am anymore...
• I lowered my step goal to 6k a day, and some days it's easy to hit and surpass, others not so much. Get back to walking every day and yoga 1x a week once I hit 30 weeks. 
• enjoy at least one Lincoln + Mama day each week
• I'm getting all nostalgic about only having ~13ish weeks left of this pregnancy, and the transition to 2 YEARS OLD hasn't been too bad, but there are definitely a few more tantrums than there used to be. It's getting more difficult to wrangle him in public when he decides to not obey, BUT-- it's worth it. We've been going to Marbles a lot, would like to maybe go to Pullen Park and ride the train one day, go get special donuts at Levant... and also, would like to document one of these with my big camera. 

Christmas 2016

Christmas was so special this year. It was really special last year. The year before was pretty special too (39 weeks pregnant— was also kind of stressful #babywatch). This year though. Undeniable magic!

Lincoln was old enough to know what was going on for the most part. He knew Santa said “Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!” and liked to wish strangers a Merry Christmas out and about.  He understood presents and opening things. He loved Christmas music and Christmas lights and our Christmas tree (although he did not understand why there were toys hanging on the tree taunting him and not letting him play with them). He learned in preschool that Jesus was born in Bethlehem and occasionally would say "baby Jesus, ham!" which was just the most precious thing ever. Also, the Christmas preschool crafts? I die. 

I rented the 35mm 1.4 for the week to get Christmas and his birthday in there, so I tried to document a lot a lot a lot. I missed some people on Christmas day between all the cooking and spending time with visitors, but for the most part I got the days. Loved looking at this photos a month out! 

It’s been really fun to see our own little family traditions come to life and evolve since we got married in 2011 and now with Lincoln and soon with Emmeline! Next Christmas we will have an almost 7 month old too?! So fun.

This was the first year we’ve been really successful at planning and adhering to a budget for gifts for each other and our families which honestly I think made the whole thing even more special. We didn’t have a ton of money to spend on each other so we were very intentional (and may have overspent for Lincoln slightly because they had wooden food at Aldi and I was too excited…) and it made it all the more special. I felt like the Grinch at the end of the story this year, I honestly was SO excited to see the reactions of my people to their gifts that I didn’t really realize I would be getting gifts too! That is such a change from who I was even last year.

We decided that our family gifts will be one thing for each other from each other. We each got Lincoln a gift, and he got us a gift and then we did one "big" gift for the kids, which this year was the teepee. Lincoln's gifts from me were wooden pots and pans for his kitchen and a little wooden coffee maker which he LOVES. He makes soup, coffee, quesadillas, pancakes, eggs, etc. all day. Marshall's gift to him was a little Melissa & Doug piano which he ALSO loves. He'll sit and bang on it and sing "hallelujah". He is so musical and loves anything music related. I got Marshall a cool amp stack print that he asked for explicitly (gah, so appreciated) and some junk food he likes (Reese's, Dr. Pepper and pistachios). He got me a precious necklace with our initials, m+k, on it. Lincoln gave me nespresso pods and a Hobby Lobby giftcard, and gave Marshall a little Rubix cube (2x2) and a GearBall (which is already broken, because he later threw it...).

We haven't quite figured out stockings yet and what/if we'll do anything with those (although I bought a set of four on clearance after Christmas for next year!) and we didn't really keep up with any sort of advent thing like I wanted to, but next year will be here before we know it. What a special Christmas!

Christmas Eve is our travel day, so we go to my sister's in the morning for breakfast and let the cousins play and exchange gifts. Then we mosey over to Marshall's parents for Christmas Eve dinner and Secret Santa gift exchange. Lincoln got a super cool tricycle this year from Gigi and Pop Pop! It was a little big for him but a month later he can already reach the pedals and can steer it a little bit! He loves his bike. He super loves when friends come over and ride it and he just hops on the back. Christmas Day we spend the day at home, big breakfast, open gifts and play all day. We invited our families over to stop in if they want to and my dad, my grandparents and Marshall's family came throughout the day and we enjoyed their visits! 

Declaring it: best Christmas yet. Which is fun, because the best is yet to come! 

A Visit to Coyote Ranch

In honor of #throwbackthursday I'm sharing some photos from last September when we paid a visit to the little farmhouse that we affectionately refer to as Coyote Ranch. Marshall lived here during our engagement with his friend David, and after we struck out trying to find wedding venues on the cheap, we decided to get married here in the backyard on September 10, 2011. It was the most magical day! 

We found out a couple of months before this that the acres of land that the house was on was sold and going to be developed. We wanted to grab a few pictures as a family there before it was all torn down so one afternoon on the way to Wake Forest we stopped by to just take a few pictures.  We brought the tripod to do some self timer photos, but luckily David was there and was able to take some for us. I wish this place would have been around for years to come, but there is something special about knowing that we were the only ones to get married there. It's almost as if it existed just for us and our story.  A few months ago we drove by there to see it and sure enough all trace of this magical place was gone, and development had begun. Coyote Ranch, we will miss you! Thank you for the memories! 

(PS: Check out that squishy baby! I remember we had recently started exclusively formula feeding and dude got really chunky really fast. Turns out babies don't need 6 ounces every 2 hours...they will start sleeping all night if you feed them that much though. Hashtag: parenting hack)

Lessons Learned in Dating (While Married As Parents With No Money)

We've never really been big daters. We're both somewhat homebodies and find looking for a parking spot to be a "hassle" (Marshall's catch phrase), so given the choice in going somewhere or sitting at home, we mostly choose to sit at home. A movie on Netflix and a snack, and we are good to go.

The first couple of months of parenting held so much sitting at home, and once I was working from home I really needed to get out of the house and dress up (read: wear something besides leggings) every once in a while. That's never really been something I enjoyed before, but now I love an excuse to wear a dress and big earrings and go outside. So, to all you childless couples out there, there is something you should know: every night is date night. Savor. 

Currently we are in the final stretch ($14k left!) of our debt free journey. I'm so motivated, I don't want to spend money on anyone or anything, but I also need some time away from my precious son, dogs and messy house in order to maintain my sanity and be a nice person. Here are some lessons I've learned so far in our adventure in married dating as parents with no money.

We had to secure free (or cheap) childcare.
We've only but dabbled in the whole getting a babysitter scene, but just for the record, finding a good, dependable, polite, direction following babysitter is hard. We've capitalized on all the family members that want to spend time with Lincoln, grandparents, aunts, uncles and it's been great! If we do pay them, it is not as much as we would a regular babysitter or most of the time they'll do it for free. The best thing we've done so far is The Babysitting Swap with our close friends. We essentially trade nights of babysitting so it is totally free and amazing. Be sure to read that post for how to get your own swap started!

We had to plan ahead and plan on it. 
Mostly because of scheduling our babysitting swap we had to sit down at the end of each month and pick our two date nights. This has served us so well, in that we can plan financially (like, not blow all our restaurant money before date nights come and also we try to schedule them around celebrations (like, pay day! or big student loan payments! or completion of a work project!). There's also no rescheduling (unless there's like a legit reason to, like puke or blood). The date is precious and is scheduled-- we go.

I had to adjust my expectations.

When Lincoln was first born, we were able to get out once for an open house at school and went on our first baby-free date afterwards. It was kind of terrible. We literally went to open house, sat silently at a random restaurant and inhaled our food (we were used to eating quickly because babies always cry when dinner is hot...) and then we sat silently in the car on the way home while I pumped and played on my phone. I think I was expecting some magical romantic evening, and I think the reality was we were both just trying to get out of the house alone and alive. Slowly, I started to realize that it was really quality time with Marshall that I wanted, not the thing that we did together. And then it started getting awesome. 

We had to be creative. 

When we started the babysitting swap, we'd go for the traditional dinner and a movie thing (and sometimes if time permitted we'd go walk around Target or some place afterwards to talk or shop), but after a few date nights at the end of the month when the budget for restaurants and fun money was depleted we had to get creative and find things to do that didn't cost money, or if it did, very little money. Here are some of our most favorite date activities:

• Shopkick. We will drive all over town to collect all the Shopkicks so I can get a free Starbucks card. I've tried to talk Marshall into downloading the app so he can get himself giftcards but he is not interested. With our occasional Shopkick binge hunt, I pretty much earn $10 in Starbucks money a month. This can mean walking around the mall, an outdoor shopping center or just driving really close to stores. We love to drive around and talk, listen to podcasts, or the Hamilton soundtrack (ok, that just happened once, but we loved it). Sure, gas costs money, but we aren't driving to another town, just to the shopping centers within 20 minutes of our house. 
• Walk around. This can be a companion activity to Shopkick (or, uh, Pokemon Go, but we aren't that nerdy...) but once we went downtown for dinner and an outdoor movie night, and the movie was cancelled so we just wandered around downtown for a couple of hours. We read all the notes on the memorials near the capital, and if you are out earlier in the day both museums in downtown are free and would make a great date spot. It is also fun if you're the Fit Bit type and are trying to meet your goal/beat each other. 
• The grocery store. Pre-baby, we used to grocery shop together and it was my favorite. I don't know that Marshall enjoyed it as much as me, but it was just one of those fun activities that we started doing when we got married and I never got over the novelty of it. I think now he likes coming home to finding the fridges stocked (I mean, who wouldn't?), but to me there was always something really fun about going together and getting our groceries. So fun. One of the first times his parents came over to watch Lincoln we snuck away to Aldi and Lowe's Food and it was my favorite! It was so fun to be out just the two of us midday and it didn't cost anything extra since we had already budgeted for groceries. Later on, one of our babysitting swap nights we were out of money for the month (the risk of scheduling a date night the last week of the month) and we ate before the babysitter came and just went to Aldi (and impulse bought a new trashcan). 
• Budgeted gift shopping for us. One of my favorite dates ever was when we went to Bed Bath and Beyond to get a food processor. It was our Valentine's date. We decided that instead of buying gifts for each other (although, I think I still got flowers because #doublestandard) we would splurge on a new food processor and we went to buy it together. We ended up not getting it that night because they were out of stock. That is a tradition we will continue for sure, it was so nice to have the pressure off for a gift giving holiday and be able to spend money on something we both really wanted. 
• Events at church. Yep, I call these dates. Part of what makes a date great for me is being off the hook of mom stuff, and totally present in whatever activity we're doing. In the past year we've gotten really involved with serving at our church here in Raleigh, and they do monthly meetings for the creative teams. They typically have a speaker and a short message then we do breakout sessions for whatever team we are on. We'll do dinner before, or while we are there or go do something afterwards just the two of us (like, picking up bananas at Target). Most of the time we end up staying as late as possible because we really love to be there and to hang out with the people we serve with, but it's so fun to get away together to focus on something we both enjoy! 
• There is not a gift card not good enough. Last year for Christmas we asked for iMax gift cards (our favorite date of all time-- so pricy though!) and any chance we have to get a gift card to virtually any place, we'll take it. It's tricky eating out sometimes and avoiding dairy/grains, but at most places I'll get a salad or a gluten free option of something and it's all good. The most recent gift card awesomeness was finally redeeming a $25 gift card for Regal Cinemas from Ibotta. It took a few months, but it was SO awesome to go to a real movie for free! I used to be picky about restaurants (and I always prefer to go someplace that isn't a chain), but if it's free, it's food. And it's filling when you don't have to share with a toddler. 

So there's you have it, how we date these days. My hope is after our debt is paid off we can increase our date budget a bit and eat at some cool restaurants downtown (this would involve me driving and parking, as to make it as hassle free as possible...) but in the meantime, Shopkick it is! 

How do you date on the cheap?